Family mediation in Spain: agree the separation, custody and inheritance without a war

What family mediation is

Mediation (mediación) is a way to resolve a conflict with the help of a neutral third party (the mediator), who does not decide for you: they help both sides talk and reach their own agreement.

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It is governed by Ley 5/2012 on civil and commercial mediation. It is voluntary, confidential and led by an impartial mediator.

In family matters, it can help with agreements on separation or divorce, custody and visitation, maintenance, the division of an inheritance among heirs, or the future of a family business.

The goal is not to “win” but an agreement both sides can keep — and that protects what matters most: above all, the children.

Who it helps

• Couples separating or divorcing who would rather settle than fight in court.
• Parents who need to agree custody, visitation and maintenance with the children in mind.
• Heirs at odds over the division of an inheritance.
• Families with a shared business where tensions are growing between partners who are also relatives.

Why it works

• It can resolve disputes with less stress, time and cost than a contested court case: days or weeks instead of years.
• The parties build the agreement themselves, so it is more likely to be respected and family tension may decrease.
• It is confidential: what is said in mediation cannot be used later in court.
• It protects the future relationship — you remain parents, siblings or partners — instead of leaving wounds for years.
• Mediation is one of the MASC (adequate out-of-court dispute methods): attempting it counts as the pre-court step required before going to court, for the freely disposable part of the conflict.

The legal limit: what the judge ratifies

• In separation and divorce, the measures are governed by special rules (arts. 102 and 103 of the Civil Code): mediation helps you agree them, but the judge must still ratify the settlement or set the measures where the law requires it.
• Some family matters are not freely disposable (for example, anything affecting minors): there, mediation serves to reach an agreement the judge then reviews in the child’s best interest.
• Mediation does NOT replace judicial ratification where the law requires it; it facilitates the process by allowing the parties to arrive with an already agreed, clear settlement.
• For matters that the parties are free to settle (for example, the division of an inheritance or an agreement between partners in a family business), the agreement may be enforceable.

What to prepare

• A calm summary of the conflict: what needs deciding, with whom, and what truly matters to you.
• Basic facts: children and their needs, income and expenses, assets, debts, what already worked.
• Useful documents: marital agreements, deeds, the will or partition, the business accounts.
• Your real margin for compromise: what is non-negotiable (usually the children’s wellbeing) and where you can compromise.

How it works with RightNOW

• You tell us the situation (what needs agreeing, with whom, what worries you). We assess whether mediation fits.
• We propose mediation to the other side tactfully, so they sit down without feeling attacked.
• An impartial mediator runs the sessions (in person or online) and helps build the agreement.
• The mediation agreement (acuerdo de mediación) is drafted with what you settled (custody, visitation, maintenance, division…) — clear and respectful.
• It is taken where the law requires: the separation/divorce settlement goes to court when there are unemancipated minor children or adult children with court-ordered support measures assigned to their parents (arts. 81 and 82.2 of the Civil Code); without such children, a mutual-consent settlement can be formalised before the court clerk (letrado de la Administración de Justicia) or in a notarial deed, with a lawyer present (arts. 82 and 87). Adult or emancipated children who live in the family home without income of their own must also give their consent before the court clerk or the notary to the measures that affect them (art. 82.1). The parts that the parties are free to settle (inheritance, agreements between partners) can be formalised in a public deed and become an enforceable title (título ejecutivo).

A real case: the ex-husband stayed silent for 30 days — and that was enough to get the divorce claim admitted

Common mistakes

• Going straight into a contested case out of pain or anger, when there was room to settle.
• Using the children as a bargaining chip: mediation is built precisely to protect them.
• Believing mediation avoids going before the judge in separation/divorce: where the law requires ratification, you must go to court.
• Agreeing verbally and never writing it down, nor taking it where the law requires.
• Letting an inheritance poison the sibling relationship for years when the division could have been agreed.

The agreement and its legal force

• The mediation agreement (acuerdo de mediación) puts in writing what the parties settled.
• For matters that the parties are free to settle (inheritance, agreements between partners), it can be formalised in a public deed before a notary and become an enforceable title (título ejecutivo).
• In separation/divorce with unemancipated minor children or adult children with court-ordered support measures assigned to their parents, the agreement goes to court for approval (art. 90.2 of the Civil Code): mediation facilitates it, but does not replace the judge’s decision. Without such children, the settlement can be formalised before the court clerk or a notary (with the consent of adult or emancipated children living at home without income of their own, for what affects them); from the court’s approval or the deed, what was agreed can be enforced by way of apremio.
• Confidentiality holds: what was discussed in mediation is not taken to court.

Related guides

Common questions

Official sources